As I grow, I've learned that life has a way of "boiling" you a bit. And contrary to popular thinking, a woman can be soft of the outside and tough as shit on the inside. It just takes a woman to grow out of her mind and realize that she has more control over her life than she realizes. It takes time, patience and a love of self to come out it. Truth is, when a person goes through so much.. they need TIME to be alone and grow through it. Yes, you may need your home girls, booty calls and may need to get out.. but none of that is as valuable as the work you need to do within yourself. Maybe those lonely Saturday nights, random sessions of masturbation and dating yourself are necessary for you to love on you.
I can agree and disagree that it takes the "right" person to bring out the best of you. I agree because the right person shows you things you've never seen. They help to bring out a side you've always known existed but somehow forgot to let lead. I disagree because there comes a time when YOU need to be the right person for YOU. Yes, having that other person whether it's your friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent is vital in growth but they aren't always there and you will have to stand for you.
You will have to make the conscious effort to heal yourself and "soften" on your own.
I'm spending time unlearning the shit that I've always thought was the right way of doing things. I make an effort everyday to be a better woman. Not for anyone else but because my heart would literally hurt with the anger I chose to hold in.
We sometimes learn coping mechanisms and behaviors that aren't great for our lives. At the time, it seems to temporarily fix our hearts and minds. I had a tendency to shut down. I would internalize my problems and say nothing. I would go so far as to ask God to remove a person from my life... literally. I avoided a problem, hoping not to create another one. But avoidance was just that... AVOIDANCE. Nothing would get resolved and I would shut down to the point that I wouldn't have an emotion either way, until the day that I blew up. Healthy... right?! Then, EVERYTHING would be on the table whether you wanted it or not. Avoidance, stops the growth of yourself and another person. So, GROW!
This year, I've decided to unlearn that I am responsible for others and their decisions. It is my responsibility to take care of me and only then, am I able to take care of others. I'm learning to help others (when they want to help themselves) and be a light showing them the way to continue on their own journey.
The is nothing wrong with giving someone the shirt off of your back, as long as you have a spare for yourself.
In Divine Love,
Tee
We sometimes learn coping mechanisms and behaviors that aren't great for our lives. At the time, it seems to temporarily fix our hearts and minds. I had a tendency to shut down. I would internalize my problems and say nothing. I would go so far as to ask God to remove a person from my life... literally. I avoided a problem, hoping not to create another one. But avoidance was just that... AVOIDANCE. Nothing would get resolved and I would shut down to the point that I wouldn't have an emotion either way, until the day that I blew up. Healthy... right?! Then, EVERYTHING would be on the table whether you wanted it or not. Avoidance, stops the growth of yourself and another person. So, GROW!
This year, I've decided to unlearn that I am responsible for others and their decisions. It is my responsibility to take care of me and only then, am I able to take care of others. I'm learning to help others (when they want to help themselves) and be a light showing them the way to continue on their own journey.
The is nothing wrong with giving someone the shirt off of your back, as long as you have a spare for yourself.
In Divine Love,
Tee
