Recovering Blame Shifter

“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.” 

-Rafiki

I am a recovering blame shifter. 

I would find every reason imaginable why my current circumstances, thoughts, feelings, emotions were not my fault. It was my mother's fault for being too tough on me, father's fault for never being a real dad, the school's fault for never providing me with a quality education, the world's fault because it "JUST WASN'T FAIR!" Nothing could have been the result of my actions because I never chose to be put on this earth anyway. 

The truth is, the past is what makes you into the person that better handles your future. Everyone wasn't born with a silver spoon in their mouth.  Some of us were born with no spoon or maybe a plastic one. Either way, once you learn the truth of your life... it's up to you to change it.  Maybe as a kid, you were placed up for adoption, molested, raped, had children early, homeless, maybe you tried to commit suicide, or dropped out of school.. maybe this WAS your life. But the top two questions that I always ask myself are: "Is that all that I want to be?  When people ask for my story, do I want to stop at the horrible shit or do I want to tell them how I am coming/came from nothing?!"  Maybe asking yourself this question, listening to TedTalks or reading and listening to the stories of Barack Obama, Tupac, Notorious BIG, Jill Scott, Oprah Winfrey, Jay-Z, Will Smith, Jim Carey, Tyler Perry, or your parents (to name a few) could help. All of those who started off as "no one" and ended up being bigger and better than they ever thought imaginable.  I have learned that when you stop focusing on "then", deal with the things that hold you back, it allows you to see how your "now" could be forever changed. 

I am not currently where I want to be in life, I have goals and dreams bigger than the universe and it scares me at times. But if I wouldn't have experienced the things that I did, choose to overcome them and try my damnest to move forward in life, I would still be the grown little girl blaming everyone else for her problems. While I sat around watching everyone else graduate from college, start businesses, start families, buy homes and travel.. I would have spent all of my time wondering how they could win when they've done so much wrong??  Instead of living to my greatest potential using what they taught me (good or bad) as a stepping stone, I would be in the same spot.. bitter and angry because they did what I THOUGHT I couldn't. 

For 2017, I want to be like those that I idealize but in my own way. I want to understand that my past made me into the woman I am today, and then grow into a better person because of it. It's not always about the hand you're dealt, it's how you play the game. 

Let's play! 

-Light & Love